.... Mizerie` ....

~She seemed to be writing in Her diary~

Sometimes, I do not know where to begin, perhaps the beginning might be best? yes? I was a wandering waif in a place called Vordan.. or was it here in Aranor?.. No no.. I am almost certain its Vordan.. Well the day my life changed was the day I tried to rob a man dressed in finery. I could barely see, I think I was going blinde, I don't even remember anymore its been so long. I tried to snatch his purse, but before I could even get close enough he seemed to see me. This man dressed in the most expensive of finery and warned me not to.. I tried anyways and with barely a movement, so fast, he snatched my wrist and lifted me up.. I thought he was going to kill me.

He looked at me, I was dressed in rags of rags.. I think pig slop might have worn better on me then what I was wearing.. and he well semi forcibly took me home with him; despite my kickings and screamings. I then started to think he was going to lock me away and throw away the key. The entire journey I could only squint at him, I couldnt make out his form so terribly well I am ashamed to admit.

The man I came to learn, was named Marius`, and he was a vampire who resided; well ruled over actually, a place called Aranor. He had recently wed his Childer named Allisun so perhaps he was in a giving mood, I do not know. He took me in and made me take an *ugh* bath. Not being a fan of water I was afraid I might drown, or he'd try to drown me. I -really- dislike water as I can not swim terribly well.

I was given fresh clothes afterwards, and a bed to sleep in.. and it was then that I saw him... I was smitten instantly, schoolgirl crush style.. his name was Nightshade and turned out to be Lord Marius`s Mage; one of immense power, I craved to learn all that he knew.. all that there was to know and he gave me some books and I started to learn.

I was often withdrawn, I did not get along well with others for I was shy, and fearful. I knew if I got not to close the chances of the pain being as great the day I was cast out would not be as much to my heart. So I would stay with the few books I was given and do my best to read them squinting often, despite the efforts of Marius using his vampyric healing to help my eyes.. twas a slow process indeed, not one I much enjoyed as it hur.. okay, it tingled a lot.

One day, while Marius and Nightshade were away, vampire hunters came, they attacked quickly and tried to set fire to the lands in hopes of setting everything and everyone ablaze to destroy them all, as well as everything that Marius stood for in the process.

The children outside started to scream, the older ones started to scatter and try to get help, though they were shot down with arrows and blades, falling quickly in both injury and harm as fast as they tried to move. The smell of smoke flooded within alerting Me as well as others and we rushed outside.. I might not be the most social of people but I also did not wish to go up in smoke either. I suppose I objected to becoming a crispy critter.

They attacked his home and killed two of the children he had taken in that were staying there.. I had done the best I could to stop them, and as I screamed for Marius.. I screamed with every shread of energy within my lungs. I felt the arrows shoot fast into me.. as they tried to silence me, in the process of saving a small child; perhaps no older then six.. Marius and Nightshade reappeared in a flash of light some moments later, and managed to finish off those who would dare be insane enough to attack his home.. but it was to late for me, or was it?

Marius` looked around in a flurry of anger and confusion, rage burning inside of those eyes of his, the scent of blood soaking the grounds of his fine estate when his eyes came to my body laying on the ground as well, cradling the small child within my arms; a child who was kindred.. born into that world.. Marius` blinked upon seeing this. He blinked, for the one person of his household, the one who was the most anti-social, the one who barely spoke, or interacted with anyone had risked her own life to save someone she did not even know.

He looked incensed as he moved over, the small child in my arms not moving, as if afraid to until he saw Marius and then just burst into tears clearly frightened, as the blood raced from my body.. I can not remember much after this.. I can only remember the cold. I felt so so cold. I wondered had death come for me, to take me away and make the pain stop forever. I only hoped as I thought I was dying that everyone would be alright.

I woke some days later, though how many it was I do not know. I felt cold, I still felt the cold. I thought I was having a dream perhaps a nightmare; as I looked around I saw Marius`s face looking down at me, the worry I saw on his features initially turned quickly to relief as before I could speak he started to explain. He explained he had no choice but to embrace me, for I was injured to gravely to survive, even His healing abilities could not save me. He even apoligized for doing so without my permission, but I did not care. He must have cared about me a lot to have saved my life, even if I wasn't really alive anymore, right?

Nightshade agreed and took me on as his apprentice and I spent much time under him, learning the blood runes and rituals, even sadly having to leave home to further my education as was tradition in this field under others to learn new ways and methods. In my travels I grew up, I matured and changed inside and out. The tiny little nothing of a woman, had grown into a blossom of a young woman.

Upon my return home, no one, the guards at first, even recognized me. it was kind of funny, but the reception I got warmed my heart. To this day I still wnder from time to time.. because its all that I know.. but I know I always have a home in Aranor.. and that warms me indeed.

It's been since my return that.. I have found how much I have changed. I have fallen in love, yet dare not tell the man I love.. that I love him. I fear the rejection of him spurning me away. One whom I used to crave every waking minute to play with.. now.. burned true my heart with thoughts of.. "other" things.. for Kristian was someone so special I would give my life a thousand times for his to be spared for one second longer.

While I dare not talk to Kristian about how I feel, Nightshade has taken to teaching me as much as he can, from the simplest of cantrips to the most difficult of Necromantic spells and the ways of the Blood Runes... I have a new dream.. I know Nightshade can not be in two places at once.. well not -easily- anyways. I intend to learn everything so that I can be Nightshades equal.. to help the people or Aranor and to protect Marius` and His family as well. He gave me life.. it is fitting I return that.

Nightshade, my Master, has recently given me my own staff with a soul gem embedded within the top cresting. Truly he must have faith in my abilities for he works with me more all of the time.. pushing me to the limits and then beyond. Always his words command me never to hold back and I dare not for I know my master certainly will not either. A victory I do not earn is one I do not want.

I have also noticed recently my father, the king, has called upon me more and more for services needed and I must admit it pleases me and yet frightens me. I miss having fun sometimes but right now.. it is important I learn all I can, there will be time for fun and childish things later. I am a member of the royal family and I must do all I can to uphold that in ahigh regarded esteem. The war is coming.. I have been informed I shall fight upon the field of battle.. and, I am frightened.

I know not if I will live or die or if I shall even be able to hold up to the expectations placed upon me, but I know within my heart I am going to try as hard as I most possibly can so that my master and my father will both be pleased with me.

I hope that.. all I do.. all I learn.. all I hope for might come true one day.. I hunger beyond all things.. to achieve the greatness I know those who love me see in me. I am not a walling little waif anymore.. I am Mizerie, proud childer of Marius`. I will be a force to be reckoned with.

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